The thought of writing this has been haunting me for the past few weeks since it was assigned.
The assignment is to reflect on my high school journey. I’d imagine people writing about who and what they miss and the most memorable moments.
For me, I see high school as just a setting where events took place. I think high school helps us better visualize our growth.
I’d divide high school like most people do: underclassmen and upperclassmen.
I hold underclassman Jade dear to my heart.
Underclassman Jade loved clothes. I still really love clothing, but I used to spend at least two hours a day thinking about it. Every night, piles of clothes surrounded me as I sat in the middle of my bedroom.
The worst part is that I hated this. I used to have this fan light over my room that would flicker, and everything about picking my outfit became stressful: the mess, the light, the sudden increase in temperature, and the sense of doom I felt.
Even after all the effort I put in, I never felt like I fit in. I had convinced myself most nights that no matter what I wore, it wouldn’t look good. There was just a specific look I wanted, but I could never achieve it.
But the thing that made underclassman Jade different than upperclassman Jade was that underclassman Jade thought she could “fit in.”
As I grew older, I realized that the people I tried to be like weren’t who I wanted to be.
Upperclassman Jade appreciates clothes. She also has a job where she pays for her clothing and doesn’t have two hours every night to panic over the next day. Fashion is a big part of me, but it doesn’t consume me.
The biggest takeaway I have from high school is learning to accept myself.
I no longer care about what looks most flattering or what makes me look a certain way. I learned to appreciate clothes individually, rather than basing my appreciation on how they look on me.
My advice for any high schooler reading this, underclassmen or upperclassmen, is to consider why you’re doing what you’re doing.
For instance, ask yourself if you’re doing a certain thing because you like it or because everyone likes it. And just remember, it’s okay to change. If you stay the same, you can’t grow.
Overall, high school is the perfect place to learn. Learn as in education, but also as in learning yourself.
