Going through high school with three friends isn’t hard. It’s not depressing or uneventful. It’s just how some people like it. 

People like me. “Losers”. People who don’t wake up with twenty notifications from friends, who never walk down the hall with a load of people surrounding them, and who have never sat with more than two people at lunch. 

It’s not a problem or something about us that needs to be mended. We are ok.

Too many people look down and feel bad for people, especially teens, for their uneventful lives.

Do a quick search online for “quiet kids” or “introverted teens”. The first things that come up are articles telling parents how to help their introverted children be more “normal” or telling them to force them to be social.

High school today is a lot different compared to how our parents went to school. Back then, being a loner was a bad thing, maybe one of the biggest fears a teenager had. And now they’re taking that mindset and looking at the group of us with pity. 

They think it’s a problem. It’s not. As long as it’s a choice. 

Most of us have at least a few friends, close comrades to go into the high school battle with. And all these fellow soldiers are also quite anti-social as well. We relate on the common ground of preferring silence.

My day-to-day isn’t bland, but it’s not filled with friends. Sometimes, I’ll realize I haven’t talked for hours. 

This quiet life may seem like I’m a person who can’t form a conversation if her life depended on it, but that’s not the case. It’s just how I operate.

People who see quiet people with no friends often feel bad for them, thinking they are just too scared to make a new friendship, but for some of us, seclusion is preferred. 

When I was in elementary school, I imagined myself being a cheerleader at football games every Friday. I would be in a car driving with a bounty of friends home after school and, maybe, having some sort of dating life. 

But I’ve found that for me, life like this is so much better. People ignore me, and I don’t have to worry about what they’re saying or who they are talking to because I’m not even a thought in their minds.

In this brand new high school climate with social media and smartphones, we are always able to talk to each other. That can be good, but it also means that things that happen at school don’t stay at school. 

People who have a lot of friends from what I’ve seen, constantly have drama to take care of, people to text, and posts to like.

The idea of that is tiring to people like me.

To be able to put my phone down and keep it down while I write, draw, or play video games with a clear mind is utter bliss. 

And that makes sense. One research study shows that introverts and extroverts prefer different leisure activities. That study claims that extroverts are more likely to participate in social leisure activities, while introverts are more likely to participate in solitary leisure activities.

Many teens can crack under loneliness; they cry and hate not having so many people around them. Those people are probably extroverts.

To be honest, there comes a time when I’m with one of my friends and I wish I was at home alone instead.

There have been many studies over the years but the majority of them claim the ratio of introverts to extroverts is right around a 50/50 split. 

In a summarized version, the Merriam-Webster definition of an introvert is a person who is characterized by introversion: a typically reserved person who enjoys being introspective and spending time alone. No part of this definition states about any kind of misfortune or unhappiness towards being introverted.

When asked, most say being an extrovert is more enjoyable. However, I have to disagree.

Everyone I know who considers themself an introvert is perfectly comfortable with one or two friends and being alone with themselves. 

My friend and sophomore, who prefers to go unnamed, gave a word on the matter. “Being in a huge group of people doesn’t provide any more gratification at the end of the day. I prefer to just have a couple of really close friends rather than just twenty semi-friends.”

There, of course, is an issue in this idea of self-isolation that teenagers who are like this are afflicted with mental illness. I have been diagnosed with social anxiety and, while that may be a contributing reason to why I am not as social as my peers, there is never a part of me that was upset by this outcome due to my anxiety.

However, even if I am comfortable, that doesn’t mean everyone is. People who seem to be alone and showing symptoms of struggle should not be ignored and left to their lonesome. 

In my freshman year, I reached that unfortunate point. Everyone was separated, half of my classmates were still learning from their homes, and I was sitting in the back of the room not even knowing how to raise my hand. 

Afterward, I learned there is a healthy balance between being alone and being around others. The issue arises when someone can not socialize because of something going on inside. 

For some of us, though, the majority of the preference simply comes from our personality. 

It all comes down to personal opinion and choice. Which is also what creates the stereotypes around it. People think we’re suffering and hate the way our lives are going because it is not the way they would choose to live their lives. 

We’re the losers of high school. The silent figures sat in class, never really wanting to speak or sit near anyone we don’t know. But this title isn’t a bad one, it’s not a forceful name from society. It’s what we choose to brand ourselves as.

But, if it’s what we want, it’s just who we are.

Want to learn more and find out if you are an introvert or an extrovert? There are lots of resources online. Take a quiz HERE.