Through our lives, day to day, humans die everywhere. In most cases funerals have people dressed in black mourning those who’ve passed. That’s ok if people want to mourn that way, but I believe that tears after death should be out of acceptance, love, and appreciation instead of sadness.

When I was 14, my dad’s best friend Sam died and I went to the “funeral.” Nobody was dressed in black. It was just a bunch of hippies in clothing representing the things that Sam enjoyed like TV shows or bands. There wasn’t a pastor reading a Bible. We didn’t watch him get lowered into the ground. Instead, there was a projector sliding through pictures of him and the sound of The Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin, playing along with it.

During the slide show with all my dad’s and Sam’s friends laughing and hugging at the pictures, I found myself crying. I wasn’t crying because I was sad; I just remembered the awesome memories I had with Sam and my dad, and was able to appreciate them. With this realization, I understood that we didn’t have a funeral, we had a going away party.

What this made me believe is that as a society, we often misunderstand what death really is because of how we’ve seen it ever since we were kids. Personally, it upsets me. Why don’t we like death? Why don’t we think it’s good? I tried to recollect any image of death in my mind and all of the images I pictured death as were just scary reapers or ghouls.

This is simply a small form of brainwashing. If I search “Death” in Google images, I see nothing involving peace or the idea of everlasting rest. Senior at DAHS Sutton Trout stated he “never really thought of it like that,” and it “makes it less depressing when it’s our time to go.”

If we lived a long life and accomplished everything we’ve ever wanted to do, we would sit down and deteriorate because it’s inevitable for all of us. Throughout this hypothetical life whether people eventually accomplish all the things they’ve ever wanted to do or not, they’re going to experience weight that can be too heavy, even if it’s positive weight.

There is weight in everything we do, the monthly dinners we have with our families, the time we put into our spouses, and the societal pressures brought upon us since we were kids, whatever it is, the weight will add up. When we are brought up in our societies, we are shown a grim reaper, a humanoid that takes the souls of the innocent dressed in a black robe with all evil intentions.

I believe that death pulls the all of the stress, anxiety, pain, love, and exhausting responsibilities as a human being off of us. I am NOT saying kill ourselves right now, I am saying though however that when death comes for us it’s not going to be bad. The way we could die may be bad, but not death itself.

For those who grieve about the death of a loved one, I feel sorry because they were raised to view death as bad and scary. Of course, I’m not saying it’s bad to cry during a funeral. Of course it’s ok, but would anybody rather cry for a happy reason or a sad reason? Any sad reason to cry about is all personal but of all the sad reasons I cannot find because when somebody dies I do not grieve or cry out of sadness.

Instead I choose to celebrate their life and remember every moment I’ve ever had with them. I appreciate whether it was bad or not. If anybody’s coping mechanism is crying I strongly respect it, and I don’t think that I’m better than anybody else because of this philosophy, just simply happier than most people.

When I pass, I don’t want my family crying in sadness. I want them to come together and recall every moment they can remember good or bad, and appreciate it all, that every smile or frown, every moment I’ve ever been given and gave was worth my stay, and when I give them one last smile, they’ll give it back.